Depressed

It's almost the end of June, and I have been depressed for several days.



I got my TOEFL score on Monday night. Surprisingly, my score in the writing part, which is my weakness, is 27. It is even higher than my score in the listening part (26). But what made me feel unhappy is my score in the speaking part which is only 20. I thought I did a good job in my speaking performance, however, ETS didn't seem to agree with that. My total score is 102 consequently, far below my expectation 110. I faxed a rescore request immediately, hoping to gain some more points in speaking. Even though my score meets the admission requirement of the Monterey International Institute of Studies, the whole process decreased my confidence in English. One of my friends consoled me with the words that my score is good enough, and I can study harder for the IELTS test. He was right. My first choice is the University of Bath, accepting IELTS preferably, so I still have opportunity to better my English ability.

The other reason I am melancholy is that I am going to be the chief resident doctor in my department next month. That means I will have considerable tasks to complete and gigantic accountability to shoulder. Maybe a little too exaggerated, but I am not able to own much free time in the following 4 months. It's not cool for me since I dislike long working hours. Looking on the bright side, after my third year of residentship I will be closer to my dream to study abroad. My friend told me not to think too much, just go through the residentship and pass the language tests, definitely what I should concentrate on.

Some people say working is the best cure for low mood. Perhaps I need to cheer up and work more diligently instead of relax. By the way, I plan to go to worship in the temple for good fortune this weekend. May God bless me.